Theory of Controlled Emotions - Why and When?

With the initial feedback I received for my first blog - Theory of Controlled Emotions, I realised that I did not cover logically the most important thing we should do in our lives- The WHY part?

I mean I didn't cover, why should some one practice this theory of controlled emotions.

Why 'why' is so important ?

If you have seen Men in Black (1997 Scientific action comedy movie starring Tommy Lee Jones and Will Smith, try to recollect the scene in which K invites J for interview to be selected for something. J reaches late. Here is the transcript (All right of original guys)

{

Z: My name is Zed. You're all here because you're the best of the best. Marines, Air Force, Navy SEALs,Army Rangers, N.Y.P.D.And we're looking for one of you.Just one. What will follow is a series of simple tests...for motor skills,concentration, stamina.(James raises hand to ask a question)I see we have a question.

James Edwards (Will Smith) :I'm sorry,maybe you already answered this but...why exactly are we here?

Z: Son. (Pointing to macho Army guy)

A Army guy: Second Lieutenant Jake Jensen. West Point. Graduate with honors.  We're here because you want the best of the best of the best, sir! (after hearing this, James laughs)

Z: What's so funny, Edwards?

James Edwards (Will Smith) :Your boy, Captain America, here.''The best of the best of the best, sir!'' ''With honors.'' He's just really excited,and he has no clue why we're here. That's very funny to me. 

}

Humour apart, that's what we do day in and day out. doing daily chores without any idea or clue, why the hell are we doing something or the other. Why do you get up every morning? Why do we go to work? Why do we want to be us ? 

Its so painful when no one can answer you. The only way people think they have found themselves having an answer is submitting to someone they consider superior. It takes the weight out of their brain and pushes it on someone else. Its so easy to push all your responsibilities on others. Anyways. The bottom line is - 'Why' is very important.

Why should you follow - Theory of controlled emotions?

I can answer this in plain simple 10 sentences , just like a standard answer in some exam but it wont be of much value since we really want to understand and not just know. Some of my friends might think I am the last person on planet earth to talk about emotions. They have concluded that Nilesh does not have a heart. he even feels with his brains. True. I agree. But let me state my point.

Control your emotions or they will control you.Emotions are the very basic thing which separates animate objects from the inanimate ones. So bottom line - they are very powerful and are integral part of our life. No one can be with emotions. But as said in Spider man - with great power comes great responsibilities. If he have been given this amazing power, its our responsibility to harness it to the good of everyone including us. If not, it will become a Pandora's box and cause only plague of death for everybody in our contact. The very power which makes us human will cause so much trauma in our life that we might consider why the hell are we living. To give an example - how he could do that do me, how he could say that to me, how he could behave that way, he is mean, jealous and what now. These are just various scenarios in which we see that emotions are going wrong. The very person we liked being with is now facing the wrath of the Gods :) Don't limit your imagination to just your boyfriend/girlfriend but it applies to even your family and relatives.

In all the above situations, one thing is common - things just not going right. Effect - Emotions going wrong. Result - degradation of relationships, which can even lead to sour end of once beautiful relations.

Agreed that emotions come naturally and we should let them act on their free will. But dude! This does not happen all the time. If everyone could act on their free will, everyone would be happy and the world will become Utopia. But unfortunately, its also a state which is not self sustainable. So whats the next course of action- naturally, control whats going wrong.

Theory of controlled emotions - When ?

So what I want to emphasis is - Don't try to practice controlled emotions theory always. It does not need to be followed every second. When things are going right, enjoy the flow. Thank God, your parents and well wishers. But when things are going wrong, breath slowly. Calm you brain. Have control over your emotions or they will control you. Your brain should take over and not your emotions. Don't let the beautiful power of emotions turn into something ugly and self destructive. 

Consider an example of Horse riding. When horse is in good mood, you do not need to do take extra effort to have a good time riding the horse. You just enjoy the flow. But when he gets out of control, you have to gather all your skills and bring the situation under control. Hope you got the analogy.

Comments? Agree/disagree?

Welcomed

Nilesh Chhajed

Theory of Controlled Emotions.

Thank you for taking the time off to visit this piece of junkyard. My name is Nilesh Chhajed. More information about me in the "About Me" section. This is my first plunge into 'unconstrained' writing. So kindly bear with the novice. Formatting may be a problem but kindly bear and let me know how to improve.

Standard Disclaimer: I am no lawyer but what ever is written below is a cocktail of all things I have seen, perceived and understood to my decumbent level of intellect. You may not completely agree to it nor disagree to it. These all things you might have listened or seen in some form or the other in  various phases of life. I may not be the original idea creator of this theory but this is what I believe in and try to follow. It has made a lot of things easy for me. Any references I make in this theory belong to their respective owners. (Thanks dude for making such great philosophical stuff). Now enough of shooing people away. Lets dive!

Theory of controlled emotions:

Before running the horses of your brains in various directions, pause. Just re-read the title. It has 4 words; 3 major. "Theory", "Controlled"  and "emotions". Now I wont go by dictionary meaning of these words since who of us do that everyday. Understand what you already understand of these 3 words. 

"Theory" : Text of something great ( also written by someone great :P) which better be implemented in life in some form or the other.

"Controlled": regulated at will. in short being the master of something

"Emotions":  the very thing that makes us human. Now don't debate on technicality of what are emotions, from where they come, are they just 'chemical lochas' in your brain, something in your  heart. just leave that all away and 'Bhavnaao ko samjho". These include everything about humans which cannot be explained but only understood. These include feelings, urges, wantings, rage, honesty, love, respect and all the possible Abstract nouns we have learnt in primary school :)

Now lets focus on the words "Controlled Emotions". What do we mean by "controlled emotions"?

Lets try to understand from a situation. ( You can change the main object by whatever you want, but I like Chocolates a lot)

Most of us like chocolates and don't like Spinach to that level.( Now don't tell Popeye about this :P). Right from our childhood, we have been fascinated by chocolates in all shapes, sizes and what not. Don't recollect how many times we have cried, threw tantrums all around for that Gems or Stars chocolate or even that Orange Candy. All that we have been told to "control" ourselves. Too much candy is bad for your teeth and health. They will make you weak. And what we did, just buried our feelings and had a deep hollow in our lives. I am sure that everyone one of us made a resolution -"When I will grow up, I will have chocolates for my breakfast , lunch and dinner too".So 'controlling myself' meant killing my feelings for something I want. Anyways. What I want to highlight is the concept of the word 'control' in our lives. What we have been practicing is sadly only half of the meaning of the word 'control' . Let me explain it by giving another scenario.

Suppose you have a pet dog. Lets call him 'Tommy'. (It doesn't matter which breed he is from, OK?) Now if you are the owner and are in control of the dog, what you can do with him? Take 2 cases.

1. A known friend comes to your place for the first time. Our Tommy barks at him like crazy dog since he thinks he is an intruder. But you say "Tommy, cool. He is friend". and whoilla! Tommy listens to you and may eventually shake hands with your friend. 

Observation: The Dog is under your control and obeys your commands.

2.A known friend who has been visiting you frequently and Tommy also knows him. He is playing with Tommy. But you want to play some trick on your friend. You say "Tommy, attack" and whoilla! even tough Tommy knows that the other person is a friend, he attacks him.( hope u stop Tommy well in time :P)

Observation: The Dog in under your control and obeys your commands.

Now why the hell I am telling this nonsense story. Because it highlights the real meaning and both aspects of the word 'control". Now link it back to story of Chocolate and Spinach. (Bhai, I don't waste my words). If you are really in control of yourself,  you can manipulate your brain/heart not to like chocolate as if it were the same spinach you didn't like. At the same time - you could tell you brain to like spinach as if it were chocolate. If you are able to do both the things, then you can say you are in "Control"

Are you getting my point?

Now I leave it up to you how do you implement the same concept with your emotions. If you can behave the way you want to with anybody, then your emotions are in your control. If you are mad at some one and still say "Tommy, he is friend" and the rage gets pacified, congrats. At the same time, if you are really bad to get enraged at someone for a mistake but still u do it successfully (Remember, Tommy attack?), congrats, you have just achieved the second half of the concept of 'controlled emotions'.

Now let me admit it. There are some side affects of this theory. After following it, you may start feeling as if you are an actor and doing what an "Ideal" person must be doing. That 'ideal' person may not be like you at all. You may start feeling as if you are living an altogether a different life which is not like yours at all. And with the ease you can play with your own emotions, life itself starts feeling like a mirage. Something which can be created and destroyed easily. And with more expertise, you might end up with feeling like its all 'Mohh Maaya" but my friend, in the end it is for sure.

I hope you could get some piece of what I wanted to convey. If not, let me know. I love to improve. and yes, even if you were bugged with this nonsense, please leave a comment to let me know that you really read it. and form next time don't look at me as if I am acting on 'controlled emotions'. Use this theory when things are not going fine. :)

Happy Implementation!