Temet Nosce Questionnaire

"Temet Nosce" are the words the Oracle says to Neo in the Matrix Series. It made me wonder how similar are these ancient cultures. Even in the Bhagwad Geeta, Krishna says to know the real 'you' i.e soul. Let go the 'real' us but do we even know ourselves. I mean do you know what you should do when you are sad or feeling low. Do we simply wait for people around us to know that we are sad and let them do something to cheer us up. Or do we really do something which will bring us out of the blues ? I repeat. Do you know yourself ?

Recently I happened to see the movie 'You dont mess with Zohan' . Weird movie but what message we get from it? I saw one thing. Even the most succesful people really wanted to be something else but somehow could not be. Like Adam Sandler wanted to be a hairstylist despite being excellent soldier.

I always here people cribbing as to they dont like what they are doing. They were not made for this job. So for being sure, I shot some questions over to myself.

1. What do I want to become? What do I enjoy doing? 

2. What do I want the world to know me as? 

3. (In continuation of question 2) Why ? Whats the great thing about it ? Advantages?

4. What price do I think I will need to pay to get there? Who all people will be affected by my decision? How do I quantify my growth? What is the opportunity cost i.e. what things will I have to forgo to get there?

Get a pen and paper(lots of them) and try to answer the questions in any order. If possible, try to further granularise your answers with ' which means ' iteration. e.g. When you write: "I wish to become President of USA because it's cool" try to put the words 'which means' to end of it. So you will answer WHY do you want to become US President. Hope I was able to explain it clearly.

Warnings:

1. Dont try to defend your stand. We are here to IDENTIFY ourselves and not DEFEND.

2. Dont give answers with which you yourself are not satisfied. Your answers may not satisfy anyone on planet earth but should be able to satisy you.

(This crap has not been reviewed and will surely come up with more value additions.Stay tuned.)

Warm Regards,

Nilesh Chhajed

Words...personified....

Words. They are verbal form of what we wish to express - ideas, feelings and what not. But have you ever noticed, that some people frequently use some set of words which they use very interestingly in a way that they become an integral part of their personality or signature! Have a look around a hear someone patiently and over a period of time you  will get it. Following are some of the words which I personally feel very very peculiar to the person who uses it. The USP of these words is that they really fit into the situation where one in normal condition cannot think of any alternate word.

These words help in really portraying the potential severity of feelings :)

Note: No pun intended. No offence intended. No permissions taken before hand :P

Ashish:

Infinite: describes 'very much' or 'unlimited' literally. But when used in replacement of 'bahot', it gives the 'kela' effect. e.g. Kya infinite bore hua lecture main.

Random: refers to what we did in engineering exams. It applies to presentations also. e.g. Ppt ka kya hain, kuch bhi random bol dena. Another example  - Woh Prof Random baaatein karta hain. Kya bolta hain oosee ko malum.

Enthu: Used in replacement of enthusiasm. e.g kya enthu hain oos bande main.

Fight & Pain: these words almost come together: e.g. Boss, life main infinte fight aur pain hain.

When all these words are used at the same time in a single sentence, you can nothing but laugh and miss Ashish.

MoKA

Funny: When something happens on which you can do nothing but laugh at ourselves and the situation. e.g. I came running for the meeting but realised that I was the first one to come, bada funny scene tha.

Sad: When things happen the other way round.

Rekha:

Jhaang: There is no single word which can describe this. but this is what you someone wearing a very shiny, glittering  and reflecting costume in a wedding or at party. You exclaim "Kya jhaang saree hain woh!!!"

Beautiful: Try to use this word to the things which make great or no sense at all. Be it a full moon, half moon or no moon :) 

Sudhanshu:

Bannta hain: This phrase is used whenever you want anything to happen and you are looking for a reason. e.g. Project khatam hogaya, party to banta hain. Itna kaam kiya, PTO toh bannta hain.

Nitin:

yeh kya hain: The first sentence you will hear from him whenever you want his opinion. This sentence is really eye opener to what are you doing, do you really understand the aim, objective and purpose of whatever you are doing. A real chilling phrase indeed. Interesting part, you have to be ready with a good answer or you will get the Rocks - people's eye :)

More to follow...soon :)

Theory of Controlled Emotions - Why and When?

With the initial feedback I received for my first blog - Theory of Controlled Emotions, I realised that I did not cover logically the most important thing we should do in our lives- The WHY part?

I mean I didn't cover, why should some one practice this theory of controlled emotions.

Why 'why' is so important ?

If you have seen Men in Black (1997 Scientific action comedy movie starring Tommy Lee Jones and Will Smith, try to recollect the scene in which K invites J for interview to be selected for something. J reaches late. Here is the transcript (All right of original guys)

{

Z: My name is Zed. You're all here because you're the best of the best. Marines, Air Force, Navy SEALs,Army Rangers, N.Y.P.D.And we're looking for one of you.Just one. What will follow is a series of simple tests...for motor skills,concentration, stamina.(James raises hand to ask a question)I see we have a question.

James Edwards (Will Smith) :I'm sorry,maybe you already answered this but...why exactly are we here?

Z: Son. (Pointing to macho Army guy)

A Army guy: Second Lieutenant Jake Jensen. West Point. Graduate with honors.  We're here because you want the best of the best of the best, sir! (after hearing this, James laughs)

Z: What's so funny, Edwards?

James Edwards (Will Smith) :Your boy, Captain America, here.''The best of the best of the best, sir!'' ''With honors.'' He's just really excited,and he has no clue why we're here. That's very funny to me. 

}

Humour apart, that's what we do day in and day out. doing daily chores without any idea or clue, why the hell are we doing something or the other. Why do you get up every morning? Why do we go to work? Why do we want to be us ? 

Its so painful when no one can answer you. The only way people think they have found themselves having an answer is submitting to someone they consider superior. It takes the weight out of their brain and pushes it on someone else. Its so easy to push all your responsibilities on others. Anyways. The bottom line is - 'Why' is very important.

Why should you follow - Theory of controlled emotions?

I can answer this in plain simple 10 sentences , just like a standard answer in some exam but it wont be of much value since we really want to understand and not just know. Some of my friends might think I am the last person on planet earth to talk about emotions. They have concluded that Nilesh does not have a heart. he even feels with his brains. True. I agree. But let me state my point.

Control your emotions or they will control you.Emotions are the very basic thing which separates animate objects from the inanimate ones. So bottom line - they are very powerful and are integral part of our life. No one can be with emotions. But as said in Spider man - with great power comes great responsibilities. If he have been given this amazing power, its our responsibility to harness it to the good of everyone including us. If not, it will become a Pandora's box and cause only plague of death for everybody in our contact. The very power which makes us human will cause so much trauma in our life that we might consider why the hell are we living. To give an example - how he could do that do me, how he could say that to me, how he could behave that way, he is mean, jealous and what now. These are just various scenarios in which we see that emotions are going wrong. The very person we liked being with is now facing the wrath of the Gods :) Don't limit your imagination to just your boyfriend/girlfriend but it applies to even your family and relatives.

In all the above situations, one thing is common - things just not going right. Effect - Emotions going wrong. Result - degradation of relationships, which can even lead to sour end of once beautiful relations.

Agreed that emotions come naturally and we should let them act on their free will. But dude! This does not happen all the time. If everyone could act on their free will, everyone would be happy and the world will become Utopia. But unfortunately, its also a state which is not self sustainable. So whats the next course of action- naturally, control whats going wrong.

Theory of controlled emotions - When ?

So what I want to emphasis is - Don't try to practice controlled emotions theory always. It does not need to be followed every second. When things are going right, enjoy the flow. Thank God, your parents and well wishers. But when things are going wrong, breath slowly. Calm you brain. Have control over your emotions or they will control you. Your brain should take over and not your emotions. Don't let the beautiful power of emotions turn into something ugly and self destructive. 

Consider an example of Horse riding. When horse is in good mood, you do not need to do take extra effort to have a good time riding the horse. You just enjoy the flow. But when he gets out of control, you have to gather all your skills and bring the situation under control. Hope you got the analogy.

Comments? Agree/disagree?

Welcomed

Nilesh Chhajed

Theory of Controlled Emotions.

Thank you for taking the time off to visit this piece of junkyard. My name is Nilesh Chhajed. More information about me in the "About Me" section. This is my first plunge into 'unconstrained' writing. So kindly bear with the novice. Formatting may be a problem but kindly bear and let me know how to improve.

Standard Disclaimer: I am no lawyer but what ever is written below is a cocktail of all things I have seen, perceived and understood to my decumbent level of intellect. You may not completely agree to it nor disagree to it. These all things you might have listened or seen in some form or the other in  various phases of life. I may not be the original idea creator of this theory but this is what I believe in and try to follow. It has made a lot of things easy for me. Any references I make in this theory belong to their respective owners. (Thanks dude for making such great philosophical stuff). Now enough of shooing people away. Lets dive!

Theory of controlled emotions:

Before running the horses of your brains in various directions, pause. Just re-read the title. It has 4 words; 3 major. "Theory", "Controlled"  and "emotions". Now I wont go by dictionary meaning of these words since who of us do that everyday. Understand what you already understand of these 3 words. 

"Theory" : Text of something great ( also written by someone great :P) which better be implemented in life in some form or the other.

"Controlled": regulated at will. in short being the master of something

"Emotions":  the very thing that makes us human. Now don't debate on technicality of what are emotions, from where they come, are they just 'chemical lochas' in your brain, something in your  heart. just leave that all away and 'Bhavnaao ko samjho". These include everything about humans which cannot be explained but only understood. These include feelings, urges, wantings, rage, honesty, love, respect and all the possible Abstract nouns we have learnt in primary school :)

Now lets focus on the words "Controlled Emotions". What do we mean by "controlled emotions"?

Lets try to understand from a situation. ( You can change the main object by whatever you want, but I like Chocolates a lot)

Most of us like chocolates and don't like Spinach to that level.( Now don't tell Popeye about this :P). Right from our childhood, we have been fascinated by chocolates in all shapes, sizes and what not. Don't recollect how many times we have cried, threw tantrums all around for that Gems or Stars chocolate or even that Orange Candy. All that we have been told to "control" ourselves. Too much candy is bad for your teeth and health. They will make you weak. And what we did, just buried our feelings and had a deep hollow in our lives. I am sure that everyone one of us made a resolution -"When I will grow up, I will have chocolates for my breakfast , lunch and dinner too".So 'controlling myself' meant killing my feelings for something I want. Anyways. What I want to highlight is the concept of the word 'control' in our lives. What we have been practicing is sadly only half of the meaning of the word 'control' . Let me explain it by giving another scenario.

Suppose you have a pet dog. Lets call him 'Tommy'. (It doesn't matter which breed he is from, OK?) Now if you are the owner and are in control of the dog, what you can do with him? Take 2 cases.

1. A known friend comes to your place for the first time. Our Tommy barks at him like crazy dog since he thinks he is an intruder. But you say "Tommy, cool. He is friend". and whoilla! Tommy listens to you and may eventually shake hands with your friend. 

Observation: The Dog is under your control and obeys your commands.

2.A known friend who has been visiting you frequently and Tommy also knows him. He is playing with Tommy. But you want to play some trick on your friend. You say "Tommy, attack" and whoilla! even tough Tommy knows that the other person is a friend, he attacks him.( hope u stop Tommy well in time :P)

Observation: The Dog in under your control and obeys your commands.

Now why the hell I am telling this nonsense story. Because it highlights the real meaning and both aspects of the word 'control". Now link it back to story of Chocolate and Spinach. (Bhai, I don't waste my words). If you are really in control of yourself,  you can manipulate your brain/heart not to like chocolate as if it were the same spinach you didn't like. At the same time - you could tell you brain to like spinach as if it were chocolate. If you are able to do both the things, then you can say you are in "Control"

Are you getting my point?

Now I leave it up to you how do you implement the same concept with your emotions. If you can behave the way you want to with anybody, then your emotions are in your control. If you are mad at some one and still say "Tommy, he is friend" and the rage gets pacified, congrats. At the same time, if you are really bad to get enraged at someone for a mistake but still u do it successfully (Remember, Tommy attack?), congrats, you have just achieved the second half of the concept of 'controlled emotions'.

Now let me admit it. There are some side affects of this theory. After following it, you may start feeling as if you are an actor and doing what an "Ideal" person must be doing. That 'ideal' person may not be like you at all. You may start feeling as if you are living an altogether a different life which is not like yours at all. And with the ease you can play with your own emotions, life itself starts feeling like a mirage. Something which can be created and destroyed easily. And with more expertise, you might end up with feeling like its all 'Mohh Maaya" but my friend, in the end it is for sure.

I hope you could get some piece of what I wanted to convey. If not, let me know. I love to improve. and yes, even if you were bugged with this nonsense, please leave a comment to let me know that you really read it. and form next time don't look at me as if I am acting on 'controlled emotions'. Use this theory when things are not going fine. :)

Happy Implementation!